


All We Can Do

by sarahandthegraveyardshift



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Happy, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 04:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12100380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahandthegraveyardshift/pseuds/sarahandthegraveyardshift
Summary: "Breathe, Jim."





	All We Can Do

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hi there!! So nice of you to stop by!! Look at you, being all cute and stuff today. You look amazing!! :D
> 
> Don't hate me too much for this one..I'm mostly just procrastinating writing my other incomplete fics.. :/
> 
> Was listening to "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson when I wrote this.

“Breathe, Jim.”

Easy enough. Draw air in. Expand the lungs. Expel air out. Contract the lungs. 

In and out. 

In and out. 

Breathe. 

“Dammit, kid. How do you always get yourself into these situations?”

Breathe in. 

“Just lucky, I guess.”

The doctor huffs without looking away from the screen listing Jim's vitals, pressing buttons and reading information that Jim is sure he will never understand himself. 

“Luck,” Bones repeats with unease. “Your kind of luck has a way of getting people into trouble.”

Breathe out. 

Jim swallows. “Don't need a reminder of that, Bones.”

Bones looks away from the med equipment, finally, guilt replacing his frown. “Sorry, Jim. I didn't mean it. I was just running my mouth.”

“I know.”

Breathe in. 

“I know, Bones.”

Breathe out. 

“Just breathe, Jim.”

Breathe in. 

“Trying. It's hard.”

Bones nods and frowns and presses buttons and looks at information. And breathes. Breathes like it's the easiest thing in the world. 

Jim kind of hates him for it. 

“No one ever said staying alive was gonna be easy, kid.”

“Dying is easy, though.”

“You're not dying,” Bones grumbles.

Breathe in. 

“Everyone's dying, Bones. You're a doctor. You should know better.”

Breathe out. 

“Well, you've still got plenty of living left to do, so don't get too damn comfortable with the idea.” Bones says the words like they'll keep Jim alive, keep him breathing. 

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

They do, sort of. Keep him alive, that is. Bones always keeps him alive. Even if he doesn't particularly want to be. 

“You're gonna have to let me die someday, Bones. Gonna have to let me go.”

The doctor sighs heavily and rubs at his eyes. He's still here. Afraid to leave. Afraid if he takes his eyes off this man for one God-forsaken moment, he'll disappear. Afraid that if Jim disappears...that he'll want to disappear with him. There is nowhere his Captain can go that he won't follow. 

Hell. 

Heaven—if there is such a place. 

“Not today, Jim.” He looks back at the man with cold, dead eyes. “You won't die today.”

Jim's beautiful blues fill with tears. “When?” he begs. “When will you let me be with you?”

Bones stands, leans over the man in the hospital bed, captures his lips quick and soft. “When you're done, Jimmy. When your work is done.”

“Captain?”

Jim turns his head to find Spock standing at the foot of his bed, quizzical look in place, as it always is. 

“I came to inquire about your well-being. Nurse Chapel assures me that you should be able to resume your duties in the morning if you receive the proper amount of rest.”

“Thanks, Spock.” Jim's words are quiet, resigned. 

Spock studies the captain for a moment, looks long and hard at the empty space beside the medical bed. “Were you speaking with someone, Captain?” His words are soft, understanding. Full of pity. 

Jim doesn't want them. So he stares at the space where Bones used to be. Used to sit. Used to frown and press buttons and look at information that Jim would never understand. 

Used to breathe. 

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

_Breathe, Jim._

Jim closes his eyes, lets pain and loss flood through him. Lets it distract him. “No one, Spock.”

_You have to keep breathing._

“No one.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm the worrrrrrst!!! D: D: D:


End file.
